My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Randomize
