yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
