Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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