just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
