i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
