This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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