That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
