are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
Randomize
