Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
