Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
