he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Are we still banned from the library?
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
