You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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