Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
