oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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