If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
