Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
