It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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