like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
