You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
