I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
