i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
then he tried to convert me to islam
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
