used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
