i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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