I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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