She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
This baby is an asshole
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
