Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
