How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Randomize
