i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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