i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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