Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
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