bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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