Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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