When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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