This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
