belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
our cab driver is having phone sex.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
