she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
