first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
