...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
