he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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