There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
