I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Randomize
