i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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