butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
