What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
