I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
