in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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