Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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