laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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