At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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