can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I just googled if crying burns calories
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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