Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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